hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
