Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
