she was so not down for the gang bang
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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