apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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