I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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