i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Send help, water and tortillas.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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