What did we do last night that was yellow?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
