Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
