is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You took a bar mat shot.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
