my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It's like God shit irony all over that family
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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