Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
