that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
