dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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