im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
