so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
