rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
