I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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