Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
