i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
