just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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