Can i not drive my cunt home
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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