I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
