yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
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I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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