She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
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