so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
