i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
