It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
