Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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