come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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