so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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