you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
