Cold hands, warm shart.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So vagazzling was a success
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
