Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i don't like sucking hair
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
