By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
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you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize