Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
