is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
