come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
