i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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