how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
