On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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