wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
