Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
