my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i love accidental penises.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
