I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My liver just had a heart attack.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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