You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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