Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
