As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Randomize
