Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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