I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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