At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
