BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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