was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
