Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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