i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
