I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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