OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
