I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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