don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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