Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
