This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dick very happy bro
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize