1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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