I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
