I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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