Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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