I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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