eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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