i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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