She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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